Posts Tagged ‘jelly belly’
Denture Danger: 6
“You want to be careful with those,” Ron warned Harry. When they say every flavor they mean every flavor – you know, you have [buttered popcorn, and licorice and peach] but then you can get [vomit, pencil shavings, and ear wax] George even reckons he had a booger-flavored one once.”*
And George reckoned right, you may think you are biting into the green juicy pear jelly bean but don’t be too surprised when you the booger flavor coats your tongue and you need to spit it out and get that taste out of your mouth. But don’t try grabbing another Bean Boozled unless you want to be disguzzled, the chances aren’t in your favor of getting a good flavor.
These repulsively flavored jelly beans are not meant for personal enjoyment. These are prank jelly beans. Either buy the box for your harry potter obsessed nephew or buy them to add to the communal jelly bean pile at your friend’s house.
Don’t pick up that black jelly bean thinking it is licorice, you are putting yourself into a 50/50 position between tasting licorice and tasting skunk spray. The flavors are conveniently made so that each real flavor’s color has a corresponding trick flavor. For example, beige ear wax and café latte, yellow moldy cheese and caramel corn, blue toothpaste and berry blue, and green juicy pear or booger.
It is up to you if you want to take the risk of having a horrible taste in your mouth for the slim chance of getting the sweet flavor you crave. But when you do succeed (after gingerly chewing the bean) it feels all the much better. Good luck with avoiding bean disguzzled and laugh at other people who eat one unsuspectedly.
Ah! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I’m afraid I’ve rather lost my liking for them – but I think I’ll be safe with a nice toffee, don’t you?’ Dumbledore smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, ‘Alas! Ear wax!’
*Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – J.K. Rowling
Denture Danger: 6
When I see these little individually wrapped gelatin candy blobs I think of only one thing, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. During my childhood I went to a lot of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs (a Jewish ceremony for 12 and 13 year olds to represent a coming of age).
The part I most looked forward to would be towards the end of the ceremony when the little cousin or little sister (which was me at my brothers’ Bar Mitzvah’s) would walk through the isles with a basket of Sunkist fruit gems passing them around to the audience. (I would always make sure I took at least two so that I could eat one).
The unmistakable plastic crinkle would fill the sanctuary as the Bar Mitzvah boy/ Bat mitzvah girl’s premonition grew. After the singing of the last prayer ended and the “Mazel Tov” resonated throughout, the madness began. At the sound of that “Mazel Tov” everyone who had a Sunkist in their hand (those who resisted the temptation of eating it) threw it as hard as they could at the helpless kid standing on the Bima (stage).
Many candies would be thrown askew and hit an unsuspecting parent or rabbi. Some hit the intended target while most just flew untouched through the air and landed on the Bima with a plop. Sometimes I saw the kid becoming a bar/bat mitzvah catch the candies and throw them back at their friends and family.
This tradition created a new element of fun to the usually boring bar/bat mitzvah service. After everyone had thrown their candies the kids would run up and collect as many Sunkist gems as they could fit into their little hands. They would then hoard them and trade with their friends for their favorite flavors.
These candies were perfect for throwing because they are soft, they are individually wrapped, and the temptation for eating them does not come close to overriding the fun of throwing them. The Candy itself isn’t anything special. It has an odd sweet flavor (whether it be lime, orange, grapefruit, or lemon) and a strange gelatiny texture that is accompanied by a sandpapery outer sugar coating.
They are more fun to squeeze in your fingers until the gooey blob is pressed into a liquidy goop that fills the small package than they are to eat, (this commonly happens while people impatiently await the throwing of the candy).
For your next Bar/Bat Mitzvah don’t forget to stock up on Sunkist Fruit Gems. In the mean time, they are a good candy for sharing because everyone likes being given candy whether or not it is yummy, and no one has to know that you are giving them a candy that you don’t actually like.