Posts Tagged ‘jelly beans’
Denture Danger: 10
Imagine a world where Jelly Beans were so big that you could not only not eat a handful at a time, but you could to take multiple satisfying bites of one jellybean. Well, as they say, if there is a will, there is a way, and the jellybeans must have eaten a bite of Alice’s cake because they have grown exponentially in size.
Limey green, grapey purple, sweet vanilla white (not to be confused with Vanna White), cherry red, licorice black, lemony yellow and a pink that I believe is an attempt at strawberry; these fun flavors fill these supersized jelly beans.
Don’t think that the growth of the bean has reduced the potency of the taste because each bean is bursting with flavor. The thick, soft shell protects the chewy jelly gum inside, which holds the life of the party.
I think this is a good candy for the bite-and-pass technique because that way you can get a taste of every flavor without overdoing the candy eating and wearing out a flavor. (As long as no one is sick, the bite and pass is my favorite way to share because you get just enough to want a little more, which is the perfect amount).
Denture Danger: 9
The Jelly Bird lays the eggs, the humans collect the eggs by the millions and put them in colorful bags to sell to more humans to enjoy.
The Brach’s depiction of the Jelly Bird is seen on the front of the bag of eggs and it isn’t what I would expect a Jelly Bird to look like. The elusive egg layer looks more like a Jelly Bunny from my perspective, but I just assume that in the Jelly World things are different and the Jelly Bird has bunny ears.
Regardless of who lays these eggs, they are an Easter time favorite and even enjoyed by many before and after Easter comes around. The eggs have a hard, but not quite crunch outer candy shell that holds the chewier jelly candy inside.
Eight colors fill the bag and thus, eight flavors. Choose your favorite from grape, lemon, lime, orange, cherry, raspberry, licorice, or the one of a kind vanilla-pineapple flavor. Mmmm, mmmmm, Easter… thanks Jelly Bird.
Denture Danger: 6
“You want to be careful with those,” Ron warned Harry. When they say every flavor they mean every flavor – you know, you have [buttered popcorn, and licorice and peach] but then you can get [vomit, pencil shavings, and ear wax] George even reckons he had a booger-flavored one once.”*
And George reckoned right, you may think you are biting into the green juicy pear jelly bean but don’t be too surprised when you the booger flavor coats your tongue and you need to spit it out and get that taste out of your mouth. But don’t try grabbing another Bean Boozled unless you want to be disguzzled, the chances aren’t in your favor of getting a good flavor.
These repulsively flavored jelly beans are not meant for personal enjoyment. These are prank jelly beans. Either buy the box for your harry potter obsessed nephew or buy them to add to the communal jelly bean pile at your friend’s house.
Don’t pick up that black jelly bean thinking it is licorice, you are putting yourself into a 50/50 position between tasting licorice and tasting skunk spray. The flavors are conveniently made so that each real flavor’s color has a corresponding trick flavor. For example, beige ear wax and café latte, yellow moldy cheese and caramel corn, blue toothpaste and berry blue, and green juicy pear or booger.
It is up to you if you want to take the risk of having a horrible taste in your mouth for the slim chance of getting the sweet flavor you crave. But when you do succeed (after gingerly chewing the bean) it feels all the much better. Good luck with avoiding bean disguzzled and laugh at other people who eat one unsuspectedly.
Ah! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I’m afraid I’ve rather lost my liking for them – but I think I’ll be safe with a nice toffee, don’t you?’ Dumbledore smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, ‘Alas! Ear wax!’
*Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – J.K. Rowling