Bean Boozled and Bean DisguzzledTuesday, September 22nd, 2009 by Jon
Denture Danger: 6
“You want to be careful with those,” Ron warned Harry. When they say every flavor they mean every flavor – you know, you have [buttered popcorn, and licorice and peach] but then you can get [vomit, pencil shavings, and ear wax] George even reckons he had a booger-flavored one once.”*
And George reckoned right, you may think you are biting into the green juicy pear jelly bean but don’t be too surprised when you the booger flavor coats your tongue and you need to spit it out and get that taste out of your mouth. But don’t try grabbing another Bean Boozled unless you want to be disguzzled, the chances aren’t in your favor of getting a good flavor.
These repulsively flavored jelly beans are not meant for personal enjoyment. These are prank jelly beans. Either buy the box for your harry potter obsessed nephew or buy them to add to the communal jelly bean pile at your friend’s house.
Don’t pick up that black jelly bean thinking it is licorice, you are putting yourself into a 50/50 position between tasting licorice and tasting skunk spray. The flavors are conveniently made so that each real flavor’s color has a corresponding trick flavor. For example, beige ear wax and café latte, yellow moldy cheese and caramel corn, blue toothpaste and berry blue, and green juicy pear or booger.
It is up to you if you want to take the risk of having a horrible taste in your mouth for the slim chance of getting the sweet flavor you crave. But when you do succeed (after gingerly chewing the bean) it feels all the much better. Good luck with avoiding bean disguzzled and laugh at other people who eat one unsuspectedly.
Ah! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I’m afraid I’ve rather lost my liking for them – but I think I’ll be safe with a nice toffee, don’t you?’ Dumbledore smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, ‘Alas! Ear wax!’
*Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – J.K. Rowling